ODE TO DANIEL PASSARELLA

Impressive that you scored all those headers
being a little over five and a half feet.
More impressive that you scored all those
headers while on duty as a defenseman.
Usually, it's only the lankiest, gangliest
offensivemen can unsheath that cerebrum beam.
Problem is, Passarella, to whom do you really
belong? River Plate? the Argentine National
Team? Fiorentina? Internazionale? Uruguay?
Even if your affections prove nomadic
You have proven to be a player who can conduct.
You are a straight shooter, almost someone who is
Un-ignorable, unrelenting, psychotic, and yet acutely
divining the rod, crunching intergers, and delegating.
You garnered muchisimo controversy for ballbusting
on players with long hair or earrings, implying that
if they are going to wear the celeste, they must represent.
Maybe, you went a little overboard thinking you were
un Gardel of propriety. Maybe, censoring a player’s expression
excesses was like a tiny bit Galtieri. Maybe, the whole country
needs a swift shunt to the ass, a little musk of atten-hut!
Maybe, the altitude in Quito really does warp the otherwise
normal physical trajectory of a #5 for pitch when you get spanked
by the Bolivians yet again. Tecnico Narcissus and millions of Argentines
would follow you into the Djoub with a bottle of Coke and a messload
of dessicants if you told them you could recreate the glory of 78 and 86.