NOTE FROM TECNICO NARCISAS

ARGENTINA & MEXICO WIN & SOME STUNNING UPSETS, JUNE 16-17, 2010

Argentina gave South Korea some pow-pow by harmonizing four goals. To be fair, the first Argentine goal came from a Messi corner kick that actually bounces off the shin of a South Korean player to ricochet in. In many ways, this auto-gol demolished the psychology of the South Korean team who until then had been scrapping it out.

The second Argentine goal, courtesy of Gonzalo Higuain [ig-wa-in'], was a tomahawk header that first bounced off the posterior cranium of another player and seemed to align perfectly with Higuain's forehead. The third one Higuain only had to sweep in because it was carried down by Carlos Tevez, masterfully, swiftly. Tevez fired at the goal, it ricocheted off the post and the goalie's back and found Higuain. The fourth was a stately pass from captain Mascherano that had just the right amount of arc so that Higuain again was there to send it into the opposite pocket of the box with his head. It was extremely nice team work.

The Greece vs. Nigeria match was also super-charged and nitrogylcerinish. I think that players are going to take yellow cards more seriously. Nigeria allowed Greece to win yesterday because in the 33rd minute Nigerian midfielder Sani Kaita was shown a red card for kicking Torosidis. Granted, Torosidis played it up and cupped his face as if Kaita had struck him. But, anyone who watched the game will have to agree that Kaitan is a douchebag for raising his cleats against another player and then dropping to his knees in full realization of his douchebag move.

But without a doubt, the match of the day was Mexico vs. France. Unfortunately, I was forced to watch it streaming on my work computer, and since it was my last day the IT guy was saving a copy of my desktop and backing up files. I was able to see the Javier Hernandez goal and have to say that it reminded me of a torero or bull fighter because it was just Chicharita against the French goalie and Hernandez was able to side step him and chip it in. The second Mexican goal came from an expertly kicked penalty kicked by Cuauhtemoc Blanco. Mexico played their mighty Aztec hearts out, and even though France made a couple of futile strikes, one could easily say that Mexico dominated.



In terms of upsets, we've seen lots. Serbia bested Germany on Friday, and it is hard for me to believe that a higher being was not Serbia boostering. Well, that's not completely true: the Germans came out like Vikings in the first half, trying to completely snuff the Serbians out. And, Klose got two yellow cards and had to come off in the 38 minutes. A minute later, Serbia struck with a beautiful scissor side kick from Jovanovic. The Serbians rode a material advantage the Germans were not able to come back from. I guess my previous deduction (i.e. the intervention of God in the game) comes from several volleys in the goalie box that transpired between Germany and Serbia.

One exchange a minute before the game had more than 4 German attempts at making a goal prove fruitless. One of the attempts hit the crossbar, another was ferreted out by the goalie, and a third surely deflected (even though the volley came as a German bicycle kick). Then, a ray of light during the 60th minute, a Serbian player deliberately hits it with his hand giving Germany a penalty shot. Stojkovic defender penaly stopped kicked by Podolski was blocked by Serbian goalie Stojkovic.

Birsa's goal was a stupendous goal. I literally surprised myself by screaming it alongside Fiores on Univision. Slovenia's goal at the thirteen minute was a travesty; no one was covering Birsa (I mean no one) and he was able to run it up the the edge of the goalie box and connect against Tim Howard with a left that left even the aggressive Howard just watching it sail in. Birsa was able to give it an effect that made it spin against the direction in which it was hit; it was a pretty technical goal, all in all.

ODE TO LA JABULANI

The technology of exertion disposes
one to think that hand-stitching is pussy

when you can thermal bond the hexagons
and make balon almost like a waterproof
ion or synthetic canonball,

a mole of pure bouyancy
in three dimensions.

Balon, pelota, has always been
a souvenir thing from Deflection.

For instance, my father recounts
layering a sock with socks
if it had at it's heart
a stark, marble pit.

And the kids in Africa
use masking tape to conflate
their overlapping Drogba dreams
to worship Eto's elan.

Lack of technology propels
the indigent savants of the "beautiful
game" towards manicured salaries and television
spots to sell mouthwash and disposable
shavers to chavs, coolies, and shoguns.

Adidas claims this is the most accurate
and most round football to roll on the pitch
as if the pitch were a ping-pong verandah

or a table devoid of inconsistency.

But, the pitch is all elbows and kinks
and even the most Barishnikov of the strikers
will admit that they just propel and suggest

channel and resist the sense of celebration
innate in the rolling.

WORLD CUP 2010: THE FIRST WEEK

By now, all las viejas (moms, wives, fiancees) and jefas (girlfriends, mistresses, et al.) have dug their heels in for the long haul. By now, we have all learned to hate that swarming drone the vuvusellas blow. By now, you have realized how the 2006 World Cup had a cumulative television audience of 26.29 Billion people. By now, you have realized that resistance is futile.

That's right, it's Mundial Time! For the next month, most of the men on the planet are going to be talking futbol shop. For starters, there has been much debate about the arduous conditions in South Africa, i.e. many of the games are played at way above sea level, and the bounciness of the ball, i.e. some space-age polymer developed in a secret futbol lab?

There has even been some talk about the lameness of a "tie" situation, (i.e. U.S vs. U.K. or the Mexico vs Republic of South Africa match, etc.) and how true American sports go into overtime to decide unequivocally who is the champion and who is the loser (and then they drink a Miller High Life). Ah, the impetuousness of youth!

America, this is no one-time Super Bowl or NASCAR race, the World Cup is a month-long conference of competition; the name of the game is endurance, not domination. Or in the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, have a Coke and Shut the F*#$ up!

The only real pummeling has come at the hands of the Germans against the Australians. The Germans were able to ram four goals down the gullet of Australia with quartz bullets. Their first goal was so deliberate and cunning that by the time Australia's defense figured out what was happening, Germany's Podolski had capped the goalie with a Death Ray. For a split second, I thought Podolski had debrained the goalie. Obviously, Germany, again, has positioned itself as the leader and forerunner to play in the quarter finals (at least they have the most points of any team).

I think most teams are playing conservatively because they don't want to burn out before their time. This might explain the low scoring matches between Argentina and Nigeria and Serbia and Ghana.

SATURDAY , JUNE THE 12TH

So, the day started beautifully with South Korea unexpectedly beating Greece. You heard me...I said unexpectedly because my money was on the Greeks. I did not catch this game but I hear that South Korea played their hearts out and that they played a very physical game with a lot of "touch" or "toque". South Korea's goals were pretty amazing, anyone with the faculty of sight would have to admit.

The first one by Lee Jung Soo came off a corner kick, but the second one by Park Ji-Sung was a real banger because Ji-Sung ran it all the way into the goalie box himself and strafed it across the opposite post. The goal was a true sign of South Korea's virtuosity. Argentina better be careful because if they think they are going to get an easy win off South Korea they got another thing coming. (You can catch the highlights...here)

Then, I had to take my cats to the vet in Spanish Harlem, so I rushed over there in a gypsy cab and caught the first half there. Argentina played well is all I can muster because they controlled the ball for most of the game and allowed Nigeria to lull itself into a feeling of false relief. Nigeria played as if they were the ones up by one and came very close on maybe two shots to tie the score. Argentina though, either Nigeria's goalie is a superb and lithe monster or Argentina mucked up at least four attempts to get another point with another goal and shut out the Nigerians with a 2-0.

However, we have to give it up to Heinze. His goal is one of the best headers I have ever seen. I mean, to see it, Heinze rushes into the goalie box and imparts this kamikaze momentum on the ball that the keeper and defensive player can't keep their eyes on. The goal was masterful and it gives you a fuzzy feeling that it was Heinze because who can't use the positive publicity, right. But, really, Argentina needs to buy an Easter Island Totem head from Chile and dedicate it to Heinze for the goal that he juked from the Nigerians.

The hotly awaited/contested game between the U.S.A. and England lived up to it's hype, but I believe it has to be said that the futbol gods were smiling upon the U.S. And, I say that very affectionately (as in I was rooting for them). But, the goal that Green let slip out of his hands is going to haunt him the rest of life. I mean, Dempsey got a good slug on it; it seemed a little possessed and wily truth be told, but for it to bounce off the hands of a seasoned keeper like Green is an embarrassment.

Green did make up for it by tackling an amazing shot by Altidore that looked like it was going to sail in unencumbered. On the other hand, England's goal by Gerard was an unequivocal, pysch-out that caught everyone by surprise (even the aggressive Tim Howard). All in all, I believe that England played a better game; that does not take away from the good game that the U.S played for indeed they kept up their part of the bargain and played hard.