URUGUAY BESTS SCRAPPY AS HELL MEXICANS

My surrogate team this year is Mexico. My wife is an L.A.-raised Chicana, and I have lots of love for mis cuates. For Father's Day, my wife bought me the FIFA Mexican kit and there was a minor diplomatic scuffle after I put it on and sent a photo to my pops, Hinchas Argentinus. He called me just to make sure I hadn't defected and to remind me that my paltry inheritance rested on me boostering for Argentina in all international matches of stature and renown.

Therefore, I watched the Mexico vs. Uruguay game eagerly. As soon as the game started you could tell two things: one, Uruguay was going to try to use their superior weight to their advantage; and two, Mexico was going to have to rely on their superior agility, while down-shifting forceful strikes. If Mexico were to stand a shot they would have to be superior "dancers". Uruguay were going to throw their weight around and Mexico was going to have to don a no-stick, Teflon coating to even have a chance of boxing with God.

Despite, superior weight advantage, the Mexican team not only held their own but took calculated shots and hustled hard. Guardado's izquerdazo in the 18th minute hits on what I am talking about; the Goalie-Cam shook with the force of that left-legged volley, and seemed to buouy Mexican spirits. The game was hotly contested and vigorously played; at one point, el Ruso Perez, a Uruguayan hit-man-cum-striker, is fully bleeding from his skull and trying to convince the sideline ref that the bleeding is under control while blood trickles from the gauze. He comes out of the game for 20 seconds and comes back head-wrapped in blue gauze like a daffy Jerry Lewis.

Unfortunately, Luis Suarez scores for Uruguay in the 43rd minute with a spectacular head past Suarez, Mexico's goalie, also known as the Rabbit. In the second half, Uruguay covered Mexico with that additional weight so there were alot of theatrics, shirt-pulling, and name-calling. Mexico played with heart, and they lost with heart, but they're qualified for the next tier of play, despite being in second place (behind Uruguay of course).