Ode to Pelé

Michael Jordan is the Pelé of Basketball, except Pele has no High-Top Legions
Jeter is the Pelé of Beisbol, blondetastic accompaniment, and brash hype
Lebron is the Pelé of the Phenomenal Tax Bracket
Michael Tyson is the Pelé of Boxing, pandemonium bleachers, and placard bimbos
Tony Hawk is the Pelé of half pipes, product placement platforms, and secret tweaks on the joystick
Gabriella Sabatini is the Pelé of Women’s Tennis, more importantly, Sabatini is the Pele of brunettes in tenniskirts
Sandy Koufax is the Pelé of Baseball-Loving Jews and catchers with broken thumbs
Larry Bird is the Pelé of White guys playing basketball
De La Hoya is the Pelé of Chicano boxers
Andres Cantor is the Pelé of howling Goal!, imagine a whole career on a trademark intonation of the word for score in Spanish
Lando Calrisian is the Pelé of Cloud City Malt Liquor
Kissinger is the Pelé of Rumsfeld’s simulation platoons, Nixon the Pele of Bush’s belligerent scrimmage
Xiu Xiu is the Pelé of Pandas released back into captivity
Chewbacca is the Pelé of the Wookie Peoples
The Pixies were the Pelé of the 90’s Rock Pantheon
The Clash is the Pelé of Soundsystems, Dub Subcommandantes, and Audio Dynamites
Han Solo used to be the Pelé of intergalactic smugglers
Beethoven was the Pelé of prodigious little, snot-noses who play in their first World Cup at the age of seventeen
Chuck D is the Pelé of Terrordomes and Jeep Beat Cavalries
Bill Gates is the Pelé of blue screens of death and educational philanthropy
The Harlem Y is the Pelé of all the other YMCA’s not under the authority of the Harlem Y Indoor Soccer League